Okay so far this parenting thing sucked. Kids leaked stuff out of their ears? Fucking disgusting.

"Hurry up, all right?" Diego said, dragging Stan to the medicine aisle. "We gotta get back to the hotel."

Sparrows could be attacking at any moment!

Stan	"I gotta find the right one," Stan said, browsing the ear grossness aisle carefully.
Diego	Diego huffed, putting his hands on his hips. "Just get the no-name shit."
Stan	"Have you tried the no-name shit?" Stan asked.
Diego	"No, because my ears don't squirt juice every time I get excited." He could have said that with a little more tact, sure.
Stan	Stan didn't seem bothered by it, however. "Then trust me. I need my brand."
Alphonso	The entrance bell chimed, and Jayme and Alphonso entered the convenience store. Which was pretty convenient. "Jayme, get me munchies," Alphonso called as he headed to the haircare aisle.
Diego	Diego clocked the two of them as soon as the bell rang, ducking down slightly so he wouldn't be seen right away.
Stan	"Oh, I found it," Stan said, reaching for the medicine he needed.
Diego	"Shhh," Diego hissed. "Go wait outside."
Stan	Stan looked confused. "Why?"
Diego	Diego crept up slightly to make sure Alphonso hadn't moved. "I'm gonna kick this fool's ass."
Stan	"Don't worry, I've got your back," Stan said, dropping the medicine and looking for something he could fight with. Like brass knuckles or a chain or something.
Alphonso	Alphonso was minding his own damn business sniffing hair products when he was rudely interrupted by someone whistling at him. He didn't seem too surprised to see Diego standing there. "Well isn't this a coinkidink?" Alphonso said, smiling. "Did you follow me here?"
Diego	"Don't flatter yourself." Though if Diego had known where Alphonso was going then, yes, he most likely would have followed him here.
Alphonso	Alphonso put back the mousse he was taking a whiff of and faced Diego. "Leave now or I'm going to spank you like the little bitch you are."
Diego	"Take your best shot, tubby." Now, Diego had heard about Annie's fight with Alphonso, and Allison's. But for some reason he felt like maybe it was a fluke. Or was built different or something. Either way, there was no good excuse for the way Diego through a punch at Alphonso and ended up with his own nose making a cracking noise. "Oh, shit!"
Alphonso	"I know," Alphonso said sympathetically. "Doesn't feel good, does it?"
Diego	Diego wiped the blood off his face and immediately moved to kick Alphonso (maybe kicking worked on him!), only to have his leg grabbed by the other man and getting himself shoved into a wall of haircare products.
Alphonso	Alphonso lifted his leg to stomp Diego's face in, making a slight noise of pain as Diego rolled and his foot hit the ground hard. He wasn't a quitter, however, and as soon as Diego was off the ground Alphonso kicked him again, sending him flying into a case holding milk. Hopefully this store had good insurance.
Diego	This fight was going worryingly like the first fight had gone. But Diego had been raised by the same man as Alphonso and was also not a quitter, even when quitting would have been the smarter option. He started fighting Alphonso hand-to-hand, trying to speed rather than strength. Which was for the best considering it was Diego feeling every hit. At one point, however, a good hit to Alphonso's face sent a chunk of it flying. Like, an actual chunk of face. "Dude, your chin." That was almost as gross as the leaky ear.
Alphonso	"Yeah," Alphonso said, sounding a little breathless despite the fact he hadn't felt any of Diego's hits. "It happens sometimes." He grabbed Diego by the shoulders and threw him into another display case.
Stan	Stan had been waiting for his moment to strike, and when Diego landed near him he decided his time was now. He grabbed one of the knives out of Diego's thigh harness and chucked it at Alphonso's leg. And then shrieked when his own leg started bleeding. "Ow, goddammit! My leg!"
Alphonso	Seriously, people? "Do you guys not understand how this works yet?" Alphonso asked, panting.
Diego	Yes, Diego understood. No, he was not going to stop hitting you. Especially now that Stan was bleeding. "That's my kid, asshole!" Sort of kid. It sounded less impressive when you said sort of kid. Diego swept his leg, causing Alphonso to trip and hit the ground. An inhaler flew out of his pocket, and Alphonso reached for it. Diego could hear him wheezing now. "Are you getting tired yet? Heart getting weaker?" Diego asked. He kicked the inhaler even further away, sending Alphonso scrambling after it. It gave him a chance to check in on Stan. "How's your leg? You're good. You'll be okay."
Jayme	As funny as it was watching the fight from the candy aisle, Jayme realized she'd have to intervene once Alphonso's asthma came into play. She stepped into the aisle where Diego and Stan were and launched spit right at them.
Stan	Stan reacted quickly, picking up a nearby pan and allowing that to block the black spit of doom. "Dude, that girl was going to hork on you!"
Diego	Thank you for saving him from another dance number, Stanley. Diego heard hissing again and he was scrambling to get him an Stan out of the way. "Move, get down!"
Stan	"I can handle my own shit!" Stan said.
Diego	"Sure you can," Diego said, grabbing the heaviest items he could find and throwing them at Jayme.
Stan	Which looked like fun, so Stan joined in. "Fuck yeah!"
Diego	"Watch your mouth," Diego said automatically, throwing another heavy object at Jayme and sending her to the floor. "Come on."
Stan	"What, no way!" Stan protested. "We were totally kicking their asses!"
Diego	"He who walks away lives to fight another day," Diego recited. "Okay?"
Stan	Stan huffed. "That's some lame-ass shit."
Diego	Diego had to agree there. "Yeah, I know." They were leaving anyway.

[NFI, NFB but OOC is always great. Taken, like everything today, from TUA 3x02 World's Biggest Ball of Twine and preplayed with myself]